BOO! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Call me crazy *pauses for everyone to collectively do so*, but last last night i was able to startle Evan. Tania was skeptical, but i wasn't. He was being fed by Tania in her arms, and every time he closed his eyes i proceeded to make some various semi-loud noises. He opened his eyes and looked around as i made them. I did this several times to remove any variables and doubts, and it still happened. Then i made an even louder noise and he was genuinely startled. His cute little eyes shook in that startled way, his eye lids opened and he looked around. I felt bad doing it because i could see that i frightened him, and the last thing i want to do is scare my little boy. But it was all in the name of science!

I'm convinced that he heard the noises, i don't know to what degree, but i know he heard them. I have this new fear that's been creeping up on me the past few days, it kinda follows me around and maybe two to three times a day it taps me on the shoulder to remind me that it's there. The new fear is that his hearing isn't as bad as Susan and the testing says it is, and the hearing aids will actually hurt his fragile ears because they'll be set to high. Who the hell am i going to bring that up to? Susan will think i'm nut and dismiss it, and doctor i'm sure won't listen to me. Maybe i am nuts, maybe i just want that to me the case. But you know what, i don't think i'm nuts. I think the test was partially wrong, maybe not fully wrong, nut at least partially wrong. Let's call it half wrong!

I think i'll just wait till "H" day on Friday, the "H" stands for hearing. We'll see his reaction to his new tools and we'll go from there. My little boy will be bionic. Well, not as bionic as CI's would be. I was bionic for a few days once when i had a small piece of metal in my arm, but that hardly counts.

Just wanted to add this last detail in, last night i was vacuuming, and Evan was nearby. I think the sound of the vacuuming was bothering him. I know that nobody is going to believe that, since nobody was there to see it. Tania was doing laundry i think, and Mya is just a dog so she can't vouch for me. Oh well, my mind sees and hears what it wants to.